Why “I’m Fine” Isn’t Always the Truth Your Body Knows
She sat across from me, I asked her to tell me her story, and she responded, “I’m fine. I just wanted a massage. Do whatever you want.”
She wasn’t in pain. Nothing dramatic had happened. But she described her days like she was watching them from underwater; foggy, muted, just going through the motions. Her voice was calm, somewhat flat, but in her eyes there was more. She was exhausted, confused, and frustrated with herself.
This is the kind of disconnection many people live with for years without realizing it. It doesn’t always come with a clear trauma or collapse. It can show up as quiet detachment, a numb hum in the background of your life. And because it doesn’t scream for attention, it often goes unnoticed.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting you.
You can be disconnected from your body and not even know it.
Here are some of the most overlooked signs:
Feeling foggy or spaced out
You might find it hard to stay focused in conversations or remember what you just read. This isn't laziness or distraction, it's often a protective response. When the nervous system senses overwhelm, it can pull us out of the present as a way to cope.
Delayed emotional reactions
Maybe something upsetting happens, and you feel nothing in the moment, but hours or even days later, it hits you like a wave. This time gap between experience and emotional awareness can be a sign that the body was too overwhelmed to process it all at once.
Physical numbness or dulled sensations
You might not notice hunger cues, feel the texture of clothes on your skin, or register aches until they’re really intense. Your system might have learned that tuning out is safer than tuning in, especially if your body has been a source of pain or fear in the past.
Going on autopilot
You’re doing all the things (working, parenting, showing up for others) but it feels mechanical. Like life is happening through you, not with you. You might check off your whole to-do list and still feel strangely absent.
Flatness instead of aliveness
There’s nothing “wrong,” but everything feels... dull. No real highs or lows, just a neutral hum. This isn't failure, it's often the nervous system staying in a freeze state to avoid risk, even emotional risk.
None of these signs means you're broken.
They mean your body has done an incredible job protecting you.
And that protection comes at a cost - disconnection.
But here's something to consider:
If you've become used to tuning out of your body... what’s been waiting for you there?
What parts of you have been trying to speak, to feel, to connect again?
Reconnection doesn’t happen all at once. Nor should it, that would only overwhelm your system, leading to a disconnect again. We don’t want that.
The reconnection we want happens slowly in small moments: a breath you feel. A memory that surfaces gently. A tear that surprises you. A walk where the world feels just a little brighter.
So I invite you to begin with just one reflection:
When do you feel most present in your body?
(And if you're not sure yet, that's okay. Just noticing the question is a start.)